I Am Not Your Assumptions

There’s a certain way society expects me to be. People look at me and, without asking, quickly decide who I am. They assign me a label based on one or two things they think they know. The truth is, nothing about me fits into the box they’ve created, and that’s exactly how I want it.

I’m often seen as a “bad bitch,” someone who uses her looks to get what she wants or someone who’s out here trying to prove herself by manipulating others. I’ve been called a “mean girl,” or worse, labeled a “man-hating feminist.” The truth? I’m just Zariah. There’s nothing stereotypical about me. Nothing that screams “typical” or “normal.” I don’t belong to any group or narrative that people try to box me into.

But that’s the thing about identity—it’s often misunderstood. We are taught to believe that what we wear, how we style our hair, the color of our skin, our gender, or even our sexual preferences define us. But these are merely external factors—things that shape our experiences, influence our interactions, and contribute to our uniqueness, but they do not define who we truly are.

So, what is identity? Identity is the essence that lives within you. It is your core, the light that shines through you when you move with love, authenticity, and purpose. Identity is found in the way you nurture yourself, the way you honor your spirit, and the way you connect with the Creator, the universe, and the world around you. It is reflected in the love you give, the compassion you extend, and the hope you carry for humanity.

That’s why I don’t let people’s assumptions define me. I am spiritual, but I am not the stereotype of the “airy, clueless” mystic. I am Black, but I am not the exaggerated caricature people try to impose. I am thick, but I do not use my body as a bargaining tool—I simply enjoy taking care of myself. My body is a reflection of my love for myself, not a means to an end. I am confident, but I am humble. I love myself, but I am not self-absorbed. I am the perfect balance of many things—strength, vulnerability, spirituality, intellect, and ambition. And that balance is what makes me, me.

Your identity is not the car you drive, the job you hold, or even the hobbies you enjoy. These things are part of your human experience, but they are not the truth of who you are. The mind will try to convince you otherwise, persuading you that your worth is measured by your status, possessions, or physical form. But identity transcends all of these things. It is the force that guides you to show up for yourself and for the ones you love. It is the kindness you offer to strangers, the integrity with which you move through life, and the resilience that keeps you pushing forward even when the road gets tough.

Your earthly body is a vessel, a temporary home for your spirit, but it is not your identity. The clothes you wear, the titles you hold, and even the face you see in the mirror are not you—they are just parts of your existence in this physical world. Who you are, at your deepest level, is something untouchable, limitless, and divine. Your identity is your soul’s fingerprint, a unique and unbreakable force that cannot be confined to labels, appearances, or material things.

So, when people try to sum me up in a glance, I let them. Because I know they are only seeing the surface. What they think they know about me is just a fraction of the truth, a fraction of the infinite energy, love, and purpose that make me who I am.

And the same goes for you. When you strip away all the external markers, what remains? Your heart, your spirit, your love—that is your identity. It is the way you show up, the way you care, and the way you allow your light to shine, no matter what the world tells you. Remember, you are not what you wear, what you own, or even the body you inhabit. You are so much more. You are infinite.