My First Love

I would like to experience a love without pain

What is a love without pain?

A love so good I’m no longer feeling insane

A love for my brain

A love good for the heart

A love safe

A love full

A love that’s love from the start

But I ask again, what is a love without pain?

Is it a love at all?

Is it true love

If it doesn’t, one day, make you feel small?

My mom was my first love

She cut me the deepest

She could be the meanest

But it was her illness—

The illness of her brain

And still, I forgave her again and again

Oh, please, send me a healthy love

A love that is sane

A love that heals, not hurts—

A love that finally remains.

-- Zar 5/19/2024