Becoming What I Feared

I’ve slowly become every one of my ex-lovers,

Everything I once despised,

Now I carry it within me.

Wondering how I got here does no justice—

Only how to move forward matters now.

I’ve become the angry one,

The tarnished,

The broken-hearted who creates more broken hearts.

I pray for redemption,

For God to see beyond my flaws,

To heal and restore me after all.

Until then, I’ll find love within myself,

And peace within Him.

I’m sorry for the monster I once hated—

The very monster I’ve created.

-- Zar 9/12/24